You may remember a post I wrote in December 2006 about mindfulness. In that post, I wrote:
"One great lesson I learned from *The Miracle of Mindfulness* was the idea that one doesn't need to separate oneself from others in order to have time to oneself. By thinking that all time is one's own time, one is free to experience fully every moment one spends alone or with others."
I was thinking about this today in the context of my day job. I have recently committed myself to spending a lot more time and energy on musical/creative work and so that is on my brain most of the time these days. Unfortunately, I have found that while I'm at my job during the day, I am totally unfocused and find myself daydreaming and thinking about how I wish I was doing other things, like practicing. Part of the problem is that, because of my awakened interest in my life's true calling (which is music - singing, of course), I have become much less able to focus on the work I do for the organization I work for (which, for the record, I still think is a really awesome organization doing really great and important work). But, another part of the problem is, I think, that I fear that if I put energy into doing a good job at work, I'll have less energy for the things I want to do before and after work. Deep down, I know that in the resisting of the work I need to do for my job, I am wasting my energy. By thinking I have to divide my time -- and divide myself, I am causing myself unnecessary mental hardship. In reflecting more about this, it seems to me that as long as I choose to work this job, I have to see it as an important part of the fabric of my life. I have to see where/how it fits in to my life plan -- to fulfilling my musical/creative goals.
Can you relate to this struggle?