A couple of weeks ago I made the official decision to move back east. I had been thinking about it for quite a long while, but since it's not like any ordinary move, the logistics required some intense thought. Also, there is SO much I love about California, the landscape, the climate, my friends here, my work here, that I wasn't able to justify moving until life seemed to require it.
Things are gradually falling into place. I've given notice to my office, the church where I sing, the music school and students I teach, and my singing colleagues. My dearest friend from college has offered to fly out here and drive with me across the country. For that, I am so grateful. I have purchased her plane ticket and am currently working out the logistics for car travel the week of July 25th.
Sometimes I wake up in the morning with an intense feeling of dread, like "What have I done?" Other times, I feel excited at the thought of reconnecting with old friends on the east coast and being closer to my parents. The reality of the cost of this trip and of the volume of personal items that I will need to get rid of is a bit overwhelming. The main difference between this trip and the trip I took out here is that I had a car on the way out. That car has since bit the dust. So, I will be renting a car. Also, I didn't have any cats in the car on my way. Otherwise, I only took here what I could fit in one car load, so I expect that after selling off my furniture and shipping boxes of books via mail, I should be able to pare down my belongings quite a bit. That's what I'm hoping anyway.
I've always been a person who thought life should be lived for the experience. When I was younger, as long as I could afford to do something, I would have done it if that's what I wanted to do. As I get older, I realize that I don't have as much energy as I used to, and I am more set in my ways than ever. Sometimes it's good to think of how I might feel different if I were 20. There is still much more life to experience. There are many more places to go. And, when I come back to visit California, I won't be working all day, so I can spend my time visiting the people I love and going to the places that fill me with joy.