Vana Jezebel

Food Blogs and Vegan Pasta

2012-02-09T20:21:00.000-08:00

I guess the reason I have so many food blogs on my blogroll is because I enjoy drooling. Especially when I see pictures of Chocolate chip cookie dough-filled chocolate cake. But, seriously, I have always aspired to be a good cook. Unfortunately, I am not the most patient person with recipes, so when I do make something that tastes good, it always seems to happen by accident.

Tonight I made some vegan pasta that tasted delicious. Here's what I did to the best of my recollection. First, I sauteed half a diced red onion in olive oil until it was translucent. Then, I added maybe a cup of chopped baby portabello mushrooms. After a few minutes on - oh, I don't know - medium heat, I added two stalks of chopped broccoli heads. I added about a cup (or so) of garlic pre-seasoned tomato sauce, about a tablespoon (or so) of tamari sauce, and some dried minced garlic. I turned it up to high and covered it until the broccoli was just right and then turned down the heat and stirred in about a cup of cooked macaroni.

That's about it.

A well-stocked bar...

2012-02-09T12:55:00.001-08:00

is a good bar.

And, a good bar is not usually well-lit. But, it may have nice lamps.

Bowling

2012-02-01T15:55:00.000-08:00

I have gone bowling three times in the last five weeks (in three different states: CA, CO, NY)! That's a lot for me. And, I admit I was proud when the last time I bowled, I broke 100 three games in a row. So, that might tell you that I am not a good bowler. But, also, not a terrible bowler either. I have always enjoyed bowling. I can usually get the ball to go straight down the middle of the lane. And, I'm not too bad at picking up spares.

Still Snowy

2012-01-31T17:58:00.001-08:00

A Couple of Songs

2012-01-26T13:39:00.000-08:00

So, you may remember that I've been writing songs for a while. I thought I'd post something I recorded last month with a friend of mine in California.

Come On By

Also, I started teaching myself to use Apple Loops in Garage Band and found myself singing a totally different sort of tune. It was fun and makes me wonder how cool it would be to put together a trio.

Help me, baby!

I think maybe these songs sound better than the ones I've been writing at the piano. I hope you enjoy listening!

This LINK goes to the main page with more song selections.

A Snowy Day in Syracuse

2012-01-13T21:53:00.000-08:00

As I adjust to the freezing-my-butt-off cold weather here, I am in total awe of the birds and squirrels going about business as usual. It's a tough life out there.

This picture is worth clicking to enlarge. I think there are three juncos and three cardinals in the tree and two more juncos on the ground.

The Beach

2012-01-11T15:47:00.000-08:00

A great place to put your feet in the warm sand...

or wade in the shallow waters...

A great place to bring your happy dog...

or just enjoy watching someone else's happy dog...

A great place to watch people learning to surf...

or just relax the day away...

I wish I was still there.

Sunsets

2012-01-05T03:42:00.000-08:00

Pacifica, CA - January 4th
This sunset got redder and more dynamic as I drove north into San Francisco. I wanted to stop and take more pictures, but I wasn't able to.

Denver, CO - December 28th

Washington Park - Denver, CO

2011-12-30T21:27:00.000-08:00

Bare trees in winter have a special kind of beauty.

Mt. Tamalpais

2011-12-24T11:28:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite places in the world is the top of Mt. Tamalpais. It's a pretty short drive over the Golden Gate Bridge, just a few exits north on Route 1 in Mill Valley. You can drive all the way to the top and then walk around the perimeter on a paved path, or stop and hike at any other place along the way. And, it's just a short hop over from Muir Woods and Stinson Beach, so you could conceivably spend one day exploring the city, the beach, the woods, and the top of a mountain. Because I don't have a good camera and am taking photos with my phone, you can't see a lot of detail, but the top of Mt. Tam gives you an amazing bird's eye view of the whole Bay Area. It's amazing.

A Wise Man's Guidance

2011-12-23T11:29:00.000-08:00

"If you follow your heart's desire, you will bring your best self with you wherever you go."

Quiz Friday

2011-12-16T21:41:00.000-08:00

subject: Christmas

1. Will you be celebrating Christmas this year? If so, where and how?
2. What is your favorite hymn or Christmas melody?
3. What is the first Christmas present you remember asking for and getting really excited about?
4. Are you performing Christmas music on any concerts or other programs this year?
5. Will you celebrate any other holidays this December?

(me: 1. yes. at church on the day and then in denver with my family. 2. "on this day earth shall ring". 3. the sheet music book for the musical "annie". 4. yes. i'll be singing some traditional solos on a concert tomorrow and then will be singing a few times at church over the next week. 5. nope. i don't think so.)

December in San Francisco

2011-12-11T13:09:00.000-08:00

The sight of flowers and greenery thriving in wintertime here never gets old to this child of the snow belt.

A green hillside in the south bay:

Flowers for sale at the Civic Center Farmer's Market:

A tree in Golden Gate Park:

A flowering tree on a city sidewalk in the Inner Richmond:

A sidewalk succulent garden in NOPA:

In the Rose Garden at Golden Gate Park:

Bright Sun

2011-12-10T22:17:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the light is just right.

Fortune Cookie

2011-12-02T17:17:00.000-08:00

Today I got a fortune cookie that said:

"Be prepared to modify your plan. It'll be good for you."

Ah... yes.

2011-12-02T09:16:00.000-08:00

"If you follow your heart, you're going to find that it is often extremely inconvenient."
- Pema Chodron

Simply...

2011-12-01T23:00:00.000-08:00

"Since all things are naked, clear from obscurations, there is nothing to attain or realize. The everyday practice is simply to develop complete acceptance and openness to all situations, emotions, and people."

- Trungpa Rinpoche (via Pema Chodron)

Patience

2011-11-30T15:46:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite quotes is this one by Rainer Maria Rilke:

"...I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."

I heard it first in the homily of a very literate Episcopalian priest and was immediately struck by it. I am a person who, unlike my brother and some other more clear-headed people I have known, has not always felt certain of the answers to life's questions. This quote has always helped me to feel that uncertainty is okay.

The Fog Lifts

2011-11-29T13:56:00.000-08:00

It's amazing what a few hours of sun can do.

Pacific Ocean

2011-11-18T00:43:00.000-08:00

San Francisco

Carmel-by-the-Sea

Impromptu Trip to Adirondack Park

2011-11-13T17:56:00.000-08:00

This morning my mother and I drove up to Adirondack Park. We stopped in Old Forge to look in the shops and then went on to Nick's Lake. It was a lovely trip.

Morning

2011-11-12T08:37:00.000-08:00

First thing in the morning, I stumble downstairs half-awake with my mind on making a cup of coffee. Once I have accomplished that, I need to see what's going on outside in the backyard. Through the big picture window I can see a little brown bunny rabbit nibbling grass by the green bushes lining the house. Four mourning doves blend in with the ground under the big house-shaped bird feeder where they savor dropped seed hulls. A grey junco pecks his yellow beak into the grass near the far corner of the yard. Then along come two robins with the same mission: looking for worms to eat. They work on a patch of ground in a nearer corner. A bright downy woodpecker works his way up and down the maple tree. His bright red head and checkered black and white body are striking next to the nuthatch, who blends into the tree. A cardinal, then a chickadee, then another cardinal, then a house finch, and later a blue jay fly to the feeder, land on it for a matter of seconds while taking up a few seeds, and then fly off to a nearby branch of maple, birch, pine, or cherry. The goldfinches prefer the long tubular Nyjer seed feeder and sometimes four will peck at it simultaneously for as long as an hour. Then, from under a stone near the house, comes the chipmunk, who scurries towards the sunflower seed feeder and up its pole without regard to the birds in his path who, startled, fly swiftly out of his way. He fills up his cheeks until they are just about to burst and then flies off the feeder in one bounding leap and runs back to his hole. Meanwhile, the black and grey squirrels chase each other into the yard from the neighbour's tree. The whole group, upset by the newcomers, fly off at once.

On a typical morning it is not unusual to witness dozens of creatures pass through the yard. Their busy activity, which mostly involves eating and drinking water from a large metal bowl by the main feeder, but also includes competing for space and mating, fascinates me. I watch them with as much curiosity as I do a good movie. I am curious when any one visitor is absent for several days. I would even say I worry when I think they might be in trouble. For example, there are about four female goldfinches who visit the back yard regularly, but there hasn't been any sign of a male goldfinch for months. What am I to think but that he died and left his family alone? But, of course, I know living in the wild is not easy. And, we are lucky to have such a healthy variety of species in this neighbourhood.

Some Poems from 2000-06

2011-11-12T01:12:00.000-08:00

The path underfoot
is full of fallen
branches and stones,

cracked
images of love
cutting the soles
of my feet,

cold,
leaf-covered mud,
smelling of decay,
failing to cleanse them.

There is a place up ahead
where the water
is clear and healing,
where the sun’s light
is brilliant,

where her reflection
in a new set of eyes
reveals many uncharted paths.

The womb of comfort
needed to give birth
to this.

+++

Just when I thought the world was bleak,
you took my hand and led me
through dark, muddy woods
to a place that could have been
mistaken for the moon
for its luminous clarity.
You sat with me and held me
while the aching beast of my heart
bled across the lunar landscape.
I could see the sun, the blue sky,
my dreams reflected in your eyes,
and your gracious humanity,
emanating from your soul
into the world.

+++

our bodies move toward each other,
sometimes one body sinks under the other
causing a very slow collision
creating curving trenches
thousands of kilometers long

sometimes when our two bodies meet head-on,
neither is subducted,
like two colliding icebergs,
we both resist downward motion
instead, our crusts buckle
we are pushed upward or sideways.

sometimes my body pushes into and is
subducted under your body.
in turn i am lifted up,
like the towering andes mountains.
but even though as a whole I am sinking
smoothly and continuously into your trench,
the deepest parts of me break into smaller pieces
locked in place for long periods of time
then suddenly moving to generate large eruptions
often accompanied by uplift of as much as a few meters

+++

My heart is a Magnolia tree
that blooms one week in spring.
The blossoms fall to the ground
to make a pink blanket
and then scatter in the wind.

+++

When I think of you
I remember
your mouth open
fast asleep
in front of the television

and in the morning
frying bacon
in your boxer shorts

your coffee
with cinnamon and vanilla extract
pancakes laced
with cream of wheat

playing cards
and singing songs
for hours

you singing the first act of la traviata
in the shower
me standing outside the door
listening

Still Writing After All These Years

2011-11-11T06:55:00.000-08:00

As a young child, I wrote lots of fantastical and optimistic stories that involved ordinary people having extraordinary experiences with magical creatures. My writing demonstrated a charming disregard for natural order that is sometimes simply hilarious.

At some point, probably coinciding with puberty and/or my parents' divorce, the stories became a bit dark and my childhood optimism gave way to the more extreme emotions of adolescence. And then, in High School, I stopped writing stories entirely and I started writing poetry. Poetry allowed me to express my tender emotions cryptically and artistically. It helped heal the wounds of heartache in a way that nothing else ever could.

I know that I continued to write poetry into college and even took a creative writing class there, but until I recently discovered an old computer file of poems, I had forgotten that I continued to write poetry until sometime in the year 2006, just before I started this blog. I do seem to gravitate towards writing and even reading non-fiction these days, but I sometimes wonder if taking another class or just getting out the watering can would reveal that I have more fiction in me to write.

Some Old Poems from College (c. 1991-95)

2011-11-11T06:53:00.000-08:00

CONTENT
To sit and watch -
To flow and ebb -
To blend -
To melt -
To dissolve
Unnecessary boundaries
Between
You and I...
To risk the comfort
Of Intimacy...

+++

She walks like the tide
She hangs on and goes with the flow
Moving in and out
Rushing to a high, and then
Dropping to a low of
Uncontrollable madness.

He guides her thought
He stifles her emotions and tells her
You don't need this, You need that
And then walks out without
A warm hand or a tender heart.

+++

Rooted before me
your life, like a tree
stretches its rough limbs
to meet my scaly, cracking fingers
which somehow begin to moisten
with the fruit of your touch.
Your lips, watered by the
juice of pomegranates
bleed upon my cheek
and your wide, bulbous
eyes blossom and compel.

+++

I remember the stars
before daybreak and
the full moon that
polished the charcoal
sky with your wide,
lingering eyes and
the thunder that
preceded the rain
that you drank
from my face while
your hands picked
me wildflowers
from our grassy bed.

+++

we could stand in this
tomb of gold slumber
and stare in awe
at the many rubies
and sapphires but
instead we whisper
about crablegs and
cupboards and there
isn't a single second
that goes by without
bats in the air knocking
fragile carpets hung by
hooks in eggplants so
we fondle dusty cement
blocks instead of each
other and feed on
violet stares and
moments of uneasiness

California

2011-11-10T05:51:00.000-08:00

I am flying to San Francisco on Monday and I'm so excited. It was fifteen weeks ago that my good friend Lara and I started our drive from the corner of Jones and Bush streets in lower Nob Hill and continued on through Sacramento, across the gorgeous Sierras,

through the Nevada desert, into Salt Lake City, onto a stretch of breathtakingly beautiful highway near Aspen, through Denver, and then discovered the bright, peaceful plains of Nebraska,

and drove on through Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and finally New York. It was a long trip, but not nearly as arduous as the journey I was to begin when I arrived at my destination.

And now, fifteen weeks later, it's time to go back and visit the place I loved and left behind. But first, I need to pack.

Sleep

2011-11-09T06:41:00.000-08:00

It's been nine weeks since Nashira died and of course I still miss her. Last night while sleeping I had an episode of sleep paralysis in which I felt/heard her jump up on my chest and settle down for a nap with me. It was either sleep paralysis or just a very vivid, lifelike dream. Or, I suppose there is a chance that her spirit is something I can feel and hear. I don't know, but it was very comforting.

New Blog

2011-10-26T06:36:00.000-07:00

I decided to start a new blog. You can find it here:

My Kid Stories

Bear Bear

2011-10-12T07:07:00.000-07:00

Sadly, my mom lost her dear old Bear Bear today. He was her companion for the last ten years and was such a sweet and gentle kitty cat. I will miss him very much.

Here's a LINK to a post about Bear from a couple of years ago.

If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

2011-09-21T10:35:00.000-07:00

I lost my best little kitty friend suddenly and unexpectedly two weeks ago to a genetic heart defect I never knew she had. She was only four years old and as far as I knew, as far as her vet could tell, she was perfectly healthy. I loved her like a child. I would have done anything at all in the world for her. As a childless woman in my thirties living alone far from my family, my kitty was everything to me. I have been completely devastated by this. I miss her terribly.

Some things that happen in this life make you so sad that you don't ever want to get out of bed. You don't ever want to even acknowledge what happened because then you would have to acknowledge the truth. When you think of it, you can't stop crying. But, somehow, weeks later, you know you have to move on eventually. Life goes on, even when it's terribly unfair.

I can't even talk about how traumatic it was to bury her. But, my mother was with me and we planted a garden of pansies and petunias above her. I placed an engraved stone with her name, dates, and a paw print by the flowers. I put a bird feeder in the tree above the garden because Nashira loved to watch birds.

The sad truth is that she had a heart condition that could have taken her at any time and there probably isn't much at all I could have done for her even if I had known about it, but it's hard not let the wheels of my brain spin and spin thinking "if only I had...". I have spent time talking to more than one veterinarian, reading article after article after article about the disease, and even talking to others like me, who suddenly lost a cat to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.

Animals are such amazing companions. They love us unconditionally in a way we never experience from anyone else in our lives. They don't care if we are fat or thin, tall or short, white or brown, if we're having a bad hair day or if we screwed up at work. My little Nashira curled up in my arms every night in bed and I patted her little head before I went to sleep. Her company made me so happy. She was so affectionate and she loved to be brushed more than any other cat I have ever known. She made me laugh. She was the epitome of joy. I kissed her and hugged her about ten times a day and for that I am so grateful. I could not save her, but I did love her with all of my heart and she will always be part of me.

One regret, dear world,
That I am determined not to have
When I am lying on my deathbed
Is that
I did not kiss you enough.

Hafiz

Hey!

2011-08-23T07:52:00.001-07:00

I have hundreds of photos of Nashira in just about every single place and posture imaginable, but this is probably my favorite. :-) I think it had been about 1 minute since I had last brushed her and she was ready for some more.

Nebraska

2011-07-29T22:28:00.000-07:00

On the drive to California, Nebraska was stormy and dark. Today was my first time seeing Nebraska in the light. It was beautiful!

Packing and Shipping

2011-07-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

I spent the morning shipping thirteen heavy boxes of books to Syracuse. I had to take them in three separate trips with my small and somewhat awkward rolling cart down a very steep hill and along streets laced with potholes. My post office is only four blocks away, but it wasn't fun and I'm very glad it's over. But wait... it's not over. There's more! I actually have a lot more to pack and send. But, luckily I think the heaviest part is over.

In other news, I really enjoyed an article I read this morning about creativity. It's called Why It's Better To Be Better Than Different and I highly recommend it.

Have a lovely!

Songwriting

2011-07-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

I've written a song every day for the last six days and find that when I'm in the groove like this, it's actually not difficult at all to come up with material. What is difficult for me, though, is knowing how to refine and improve my product (and having the patience to do so). Since I've never had private lessons in this area and don't really know what I'm doing, I try to learn by listening to songs I like, teaching myself to play/sing those songs, and analyzing the details of what I think makes them good. But, that only goes so far and there is a lot I haven't figured out yet. I have never had this much time to devote to songwriting. Now that I do, I see how much work and time it takes to do it well. I can't even imagine how much work it would take to write a symphony. It seems like it would totally take over your life. You'd probably never go out of the house or ever talk to anyone.

I Heart New York

2011-07-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

People always misunderstand when I say I am from my home state. It is as though if you told someone you were from Mexico they would just assume you were from Mexico City without considering the entire country with that name. When I tell people I am moving back to New York, of course they imagine New York City, a place I have much affection for, but have never lived. They would have a hard time imagining the rolling hills and farms of Onondaga County, the mountains of Lake Placid, the still lakes near Old Forge, the picturesque valley of Binghamton, the ferry ride across Lake Champlain, the gorges of Ithaca. For much of my life this has bothered me. I recall especially a time as a teenager attending a summer program in the midwest the difficulty I had explaining to some classmates that my hometown was not a dangerous place. I tried to explain that New York City is to New York State as Chicago is to Illinois, but they just couldn't make the leap. Now, having spent most of the last four years in California, I can understand better how easy it is to misunderstand a place you've never been that is far from home. When people think of California, they think of the stereotypical Barbies and Kens running along the beach and the hippies playing guitar in their tie dyed shirts. They are less likely to think of the myriad farmers in the vast Central Valley, the slow, quiet lives of regular working folk in California's numerous small towns. So, now when I think of home and the things about it I love: the trees, the parks, the wildlife, its quiet beauty, I appreciate also that it is mine to enjoy without millions of tourists vying to take a picture of it.

Google+ vs Facebook

2011-07-11T14:06:00.000-07:00

Last week I was invited to join Google+, the new social networking tool from Google that looks to pose a pretty decent threat to the giant Facebook. It's been interesting to see what the differences are between the two sites, what might be incentives for switching over completely to Google+, and what reasons might keep some users from discovering it at all*.

At this point, there is not much going on in my Google+ stream yet. I am seeing less than five new posts a day from others. That could be because not all of the people who have added me are posting in a place that is visible to me. With Google+ it is much easier to post something so that just one person or only a certain group (circle) of people can see it. Some of the people who are my "Friends" on Facebook might only consider me an "Acquaintance" on Google+, for example. It might also be because most people who have joined Google+ are still on Facebook and don't want to bother posting the same things twice, knowing that most of their friends are still on Facebook. [Though the most obvious reason is because I only have 20 friends on Google+ vs 540 on Facebook. Duh...]

Posting pictures and videos is actually much easier on Google+. I am unfortunately not able to post any images from the internet on Facebook at this point, probably because they have such a problem with spam and have needed to tighten controls. Also, Google+ could almost get rid of my need to blog, since you are allowed to post there with seemingly no character limit. Facebook limits your post length to 420 characters, which I guess is better than Twitter's 140 character limit. I am less interested in the fact that I can chat with people on Google+, since I usually have G-Chat open when I'm on the internet anyway, but the "Hangout" group video chatting sounds kind of cool.

Most of the people I know who have joined Google+ at this point are people who have some connection to the Bay Area tech community, are people who have major gripes against Facebook, or who like the idea of getting invited to an exclusive club (or all three). In time, my guess is that most people will only slowly move over to Google+ as their friends do, but probably feel no major inclination to leave Facebook. For many of those who are not tech savvy, it is a big deal that they have managed to figure out Facebook at all (and some actually haven't even done that). They probably won't like the idea of learning to navigate a new site.

It will be interesting to see how things unfold. It does seem like the users who have tried Google+ are very happy with it, so it could completely replace Facebook in the way that Facebook replaced Friendster (what's Friendster, you ask?!) not that long ago. But, you never know what might happen. Google is aggressively monopolizing many areas of the cloud. Can they keep it up?

*The hover text is very important in this link.

UPDATE: I just discovered another cool thing about Google+. You can EDIT posts instead of having to delete and re-post if you discover a typo. That is awesome.

Perfectionism vs Creativity

2011-07-08T11:21:00.000-07:00

Perfectionism is the enemy of creativity. I mean, it's good to have high standards and be able to criticize your work, but it's no use being critical when you're in the midst of writing. I wonder if it makes sense to have two hats. The blue hat is the one you wear while being creative. While wearing it, you are free to express whatever you want, however silly, crazy, or useless it may end up being to your project's end goal. The red hat is the one you wear while editing. While wearing it, you are a grammar dictator, a counterpoint fiend, an expert surveyor of the latest market trends, and the harshest devil's advocate. The catch is, you can't wear both hats at the same time. In fact, the other hat can't even be in the same room.

Red Exes

2011-07-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

I had lunch with an old friend yesterday who told me about a new motivational technique he's using. He's always been big into goals and strategic planning and has been very successful in his efforts, so I'm always interested to hear what he has to say, since that is something that also interests me.

So, here it goes:

1. Pick something you want to accomplish (ex.: to write a good song)
2. Designate a plan for what you'll need to do every day to accomplish your goal
(ex.: write a song = [Q])
3. Get a calendar and post it on the wall. On every day that you [Q], mark that date with a big red X.
4. Don't break the chain.

I like it. It's a very minimalistic and straightforward system and seems like it would work well.

Update:

Day One: Complete!

The Internets

2011-07-07T09:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was informed that Facebook is not cool anymore. I had a feeling I was getting a little too big headed by thinking that having 541 Facebook friends all over the world who I regularly engage in witty banter with was a sign of social success. But, here I am in the center of the high tech universe where trends come and go. And, I'm always curious to try new things, so while I have no intention of quitting Facebook anytime soon, yesterday I joined Google+ and Twitter. Ha! Look at me! I'm getting all up to speed on my social networking.

But, that was really just an act of procrastination. Yesterday I managed to successfully divide all of my books into either boxes for shipping or bags for selling/giving away. Then, last night I spent quite a while organizing my CDs, as many of them were in loose piles. I considered importing all of them into my computer, which would be the ultimate act of space saving, but in the end only imported a handful (for complex reasons). This morning I had hoped that going through my sheet music would result in a smaller amount that needs to be shipped, but instead, I find that I really don't want to part with much of any of it. There are maybe 2 or 3 folios I would consider ditching.

There are, however, a lot of old opera scores and a couple of hymnals that I might need to part with.

:-( Or not... I guess I need more boxes.

Instructional

2011-07-06T14:30:00.001-07:00

How to Roll on the Floor Laughing:

Lots and Lots of Books

2011-07-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of days I have been sorting through books. When I came to California, I had very few with me, but over the almost four years I have been living here, my mom and dad have both sent me a number of boxes of them, and I have purchased piles of them herein. I am awfully sentimental about printed words. Over the years I have forced myself to get rid of novels and nonfiction texts on many occasions, but I still always end up with my bookcases full. I'm a book magnet, a book fetishist, a book collector... whatever you want to call it. There are books I actually need and use regularly (language dictionaries, pedagogy textbooks, other reference texts), novels I have read and loved and can't seem to part with or think I might want to lend to someone else some day, volumes other people have given me that I feel guilty getting rid of even though I haven't read them and they aren't high on my reading list, editions I feel like I should read, paperbacks I am part way through but haven't finished, and books I would really like to read sometime soon (when I get the chance). Additionally, I have tons of sheet music, some that I regularly use with students, some that I have sung and loved and might like to sing again, some that I have never sung but might like to sing someday, some that was written for me or given to me by a composer friend, and some that just feels hard to get rid of since it is classic repertoire, even though neither I nor any of my students will probably ever sing it. I have filled three very large Whole Foods reusable bags with items to take/sell to Green Apple Books. And, I fear at some point I will feel sad at the loss of some of them. Most of what I'm getting rid of are things newly purchased and most of what I think I should keep are the things I have the deepest sentimental attachment to. But, maybe it's time to get rid of more old books. Why hang on so tightly to the past? Sigh...

Limbo Land

2011-07-05T08:55:00.000-07:00

So, Saturday morning, after my landlord showed about a dozen eager people my apartment, I had coffee with a visiting singer friend from Boston and then taught voice lessons for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. Sunday morning I sang the 8:30 mass bright and early and then took a leisurely walk and ended up at my favorite San Franciscan bookstore, Green Apple Books, where I purchased two DVDs, *Les Parapluies de Cherbourg* and *Take the Money and Run*, with a gift card my father gave me for my birthday. While I was there, I ran into two friends of a friend who were headed to Golden Gate Park and asked if I would like to join them. For the first time in a really long time, I couldn't think of a single reason why not (yay!), so I did. We road a surrey with a fringe on top (no lie), loafed on a blanket in the sun for a long while, and then made and ate southwestern pumpkin veggie burgers (which were delicious) and watched *Mad Men*. It was a really relaxing and fun day. Monday morning I felt like I should start packing, but I felt really, really tired and very lightheaded (probably because of the sun and alcohol from the day before) and wasn't able to generate enough energy to do anything but watch about a dozen episodes of *30 Rock*.

This morning I feel acutely aware that this is the first official work day on which I will not be going to my old office, nor need any excuse as to why I'm not going to the office, in over three and a half years. I have found myself several times this past weekend wondering things like, "Did I remember to tell them about X?" or "Did I remember to put Y back in the right folder?". I suppose in time I'll be able to let go of my connection to the job and feelings of responsibility and worry, but it hasn't happened yet.

This transition time is proving to be a little more challenging than I had expected it to be. My plan right now is to move to Syracuse for a while, check in on how things are going with my mom and see if I can help out in any way, and in a matter of one month or two make the decision to stay in Syracuse or move to Boston or New York City so I can live close enough to home to visit with some regularity. But, instead of packing, I've found myself burning for more certainty about what I'm going to actually do exactly. Shouldn't I maybe just put my belongings into a storage unit in San Francisco until I figure out what I'm doing? No. Shouldn't I start looking for an office job in Boston and at least rent out a sublet for the month of August? No. Shouldn't I make appointments with some choral contractors in New York City? Maybe... No. Not yet. Shouldn't I start thinking about going back to school to finish my DMA? I don't know... I am feeling very uncertain about everything, but why should that stop me from packing up my things?

Cleaning

2011-07-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a little break from cleaning my apartment. My landlord is showing the place in a couple of hours and I'm trying to make it look as nice as I can. This is a beautiful studio apartment. Not only do I have a really lovely southern view of the city and beyond, but I have shiny hardwood floors, a high moulded ceiling, a small extra room between the main room and the kitchen, two big closets, a murphy bed hidden by a french door with a glass doorknob, and built in bookshelves with glass doors. It's been perfect for teaching, since I can easily hide my bed, and is in a really great location, close to great restaurants, bars, cafes, historic sites, public transportation, and the office where I've been working is only a fifteen minute walk away. I have never in my life paid so much money in rent, but I don't regret having had the opportunity to enjoy this absolutely charming and delightful living space. I feel blessed to have lived here.

Yesterday I had my last day at the office. My co-workers took me out for a really nice lunch and gave me some really nice presents and cards. It was really sweet. We did a lot of hugging and saying mushy things. :-) So now, until I leave town, I will just be teaching voice lessons and have about eight services (rehearsals/performances) combined for a church and professional choir. I have a lot of work to do in the area of cleaning, packing, and still some more planning to do to get ready for the move, too. I expect to be pretty busy.

Good-byes

2011-06-28T08:11:00.000-07:00

I am feeling a little overwhelmed by all of the good-byes. When I decided to move, not only did I not fully realize just how much I love San Francisco, but I also didn't realize just how many people I would need to say good-bye to, just how many people would tell me they are sad I'm leaving. I have already said good-bye to many choir friends and students. Today I start training the person who will replace me in my office job. The group of twenty people I work with by day, who I assist in multiple and various ways, has become like a family to me. I have spent forty hours a week with most of them for more than three and a half years. My last day working there will be Friday. I am looking forward to moving on, but I really have come to love these people very much as individuals each in their own idiosyncratic ways. It's going to be sad to leave them.

Unfinished Business

2011-06-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

The other day as I was going through the books on my shelf to decide which I should keep and which to give away, I came across five excellent novels I started but never finished. It's quite possible I have blogged about this before, but I'm not sure, so... maybe I'm doing this again.

1. The Idiot - Fyodor Dostoevsky (on p. 372 of 615)
2. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami - (on page 88 of 607)
3. Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell - Susanna Clarke (on p. 466 of 866)
4. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry (on p. 102 of 603)
5. Bel Canto - Ann Patchett (on p. 131 of 318)

The first question I have to ask myself is, if these novels are so excellent, why didn't I ever finish them? The second question I have to ask myself is, if I hate leaving things unfinished, why did I start another book when the last one was unfinished? The answer is that for the last couple of years, I have had a really short attention span for fiction. I have plowed through numerous non-fiction books, but when it comes to fiction, I can't seem to finish anything that is more than one-hundred pages. It's not that I don't value the worth of fictional accounts, it's just that for some reason I have attention deficit disorder when I am reading them. And, I feel like I need to find a way to get over it. Would ritalin help?

Calm

2011-06-26T21:45:00.000-07:00

Of all the things that happened today, the most interesting was when, this evening, in the middle of singing my third mass of the day, I suddenly stopped feeling tired and anxious. I'm not sure how to account for it. I realized that it would be my last time singing for this particular group of people and with this particular pianist. I was enjoying the music and feeling good about how my voice sounded, but that had been true for the other masses, too. Only, until then I had been feeling incredibly tired. If you had asked me what I wanted most in life just an hour earlier, I would have said to take about a week long nap. But, something happened. After my second mass of the day, I went to brunch with a couple of ladies in the choir and then we ended up going on a very long scenic drive. By the time we were back near the church, it was only about two hours before I had to be back for the next mass, so I opted to stay in the neighborhood instead of going home. I went into a record store and browsed around and then I did the same at a book store. And, then I went to an art supply store and bought a journal and a nice pen and went to a coffee shop. I ordered a bagel and coffee and sat there and wrote for a while until it was time for the next mass. I was still pretty tired when the mass began, but at some point in the middle I felt some relief, and when the mass ended I felt a sort of ease and confidence that was very unexpected. And, afterwards and even on the bus ride home, I felt unusually relaxed.

I expect the week ahead to be somewhat hectic. It's my last week at my office. I'll be finishing up loose ends and training my replacement. I will have my last teaching day at one school branch on Monday evening and my last teaching day at another school branch on Thursday evening. My landlord will be showing my apartment for the first time on Saturday, so I will also need to find some time to make things clean and presentable before then.

I really have no reason to feel calm. But, I'll take it when it comes.

Pioneering

2011-06-25T09:15:00.000-07:00

The comedian Louis CK does a hilarious bit about people getting impatient with technology. He makes fun of people who can't wait fifteen seconds for their computer to get a signal from space (!!) when in the "old days" we used to get by just fine with rotary phones and typewriters. My favorite part is when he talks about airplane travel:

"New York to California in five hours? That used to take thirty years. A bunch of you would die on the way there. People would have babies. You'd be a totally different group of people by the time you got there!"

As I was thinking about the details of my upcoming car trip from San Francisco to Syracuse, I was reminded of Louis CK's bit and then started thinking about some of the first American pioneers and what inspired them to risk so much. I thought of some of the pioneers who came to California during the Gold Rush. The cross country journey didn't take thirty years, but it did take many months and people faced much hardship along the way. I can't even imagine setting off in a covered wagon for parts unknown, knowing that I literally might never return again to the place I set off from. I wonder how many of them thought they were in for an amazingly wonderful adventure at the offset only to later realize how difficult the journey was becoming on their bodies and souls. I wonder how many of them turned back. And, I wonder how many of them with doubts kept going out of stubbornness only to discover how difficult it was to make a new home and how difficult the process of panning for gold really was and how much less of a fortune they were really able to make than they had hoped for. I wonder how many of them were filled with regret when they realized they would never again see some of their beloved family members and friends*.

These days we have detailed terrain maps that are accessible in seconds via the internet. If traveling by car, we can plug our cellular phones into USB ports on the dashboard and receive satellite updates to indicate our precise location. If we get lost, we can adjust our coordinates into Google maps and immediately a new route suggestion will appear. We have air conditioning in the car to regulate our body temperature and containers that can keep food and water cooled and preserved for weeks. We have radio to keep us company or we can listen to music or audio books on CD or mp3. Traveling by day only, the trip from California to New York will take about six days. But, if a person was young and energetic enough, s/he could probably do it in less. You probably wouldn't want to make the trip in a car more than a few times in your lifetime, but it is definitely possible. Alternatively, you could fly in only a matter of hours or take a bus or train if you didn't want to be the one at the wheel.

Still, I feel a bit like a pioneer. In a strange way I'm kind of proud of myself for deciding to move to the other side of the country and figuring out a way to earn a living. And, for figuring out a way to make things work when things didn't go exactly as I had planned. This journey has been much more difficult in some ways than I had ever imagined. I admit I'm pretty exhausted, but I have no regrets. And, when I look at what some of the early pioneers risked and lost, I realize just how lucky I am.

*Poor Clementine...

Pomp and Circumstance

2011-06-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

When I leave California next month, I will have lived here just six weeks short of four years. The therapist I used to see told me San Francisco is full of transients. People come here to find themselves and I think I, too, have learned a great deal about myself since I have lived here. In a way it feels sort of like I'm graduating. Maybe it's just because of the four year mark, but I feel like I've been granted with some sort of cosmic blessing to go on to the next phase of my life.

Over the last week I spent a fair amount of time feeling scared about leaving because I love this place and the people here so much. But, then I started recounting the year and the events that led up to my decision to leave. And, now I am back to feeling like I'm doing the right thing.

And, I'm still enjoying every minute that I'm here.

Bearsy

2011-06-23T08:03:00.000-07:00

Back in 2001, I took in a kitty cat who was living under my house at the time. But, the next Fall I decided to go to grad school in Boston and there was just no way I could take three cats to live in a tiny room in a new city. I asked my Mom, who had never had a cat, if she would consider looking after him for a while. She agreed and since then they have become the best of friends, and she has been such a wonderful caregiver for him. In the last couple of months he has become quite ill. He had to have one of his kidneys removed and now the other is not working so well. You may remember another time two years ago when he was ill and pulled through. His veterinarian says he is unlike any cat she has ever seen. He has fought his way through the greatest obstacles and come through miraculously. He is nothing less than a superhero cat in my eyes. And, he's the sweetest little brown kitty you've ever seen. We don't know how much longer he's got, but we love him.

The Fog Lifts

2011-06-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

This morning when I left my apartment I noticed it was about thirty degrees cooler than it had been when I last was out yesterday. The wind was blowing little droplets into my face. Looking up I could see that fog was obscuring the top ten stories of a high rise three blocks away. As I rounded the corner and walked down the hill towards the coffee shop, I couldn't help thinking that today was going to be a very different day than yesterday had been. Yesterday was so warm and sunny. But, in the last hour and a half, the fog has totally lifted and as I sip my coffee I can see a blue sky and plenty of sunshine out the window.

I'm still feeling like I don't want to leave. But, I will be living here for thirty-three more days. I think the only true remedy for my predicament is to make the absolute most I can of these last thirty-three days.

California

2011-06-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

So, since I wrote last I have fallen in love with California even more and now I don't ever want to leave. I've been taking pictures every day, seeing new parts of town, spending time with people who I don't normally get to spend time with, and saying goodbye to students, co-workers, and other friends left and right. On Sunday, My friend LKA invited me to hang out with her in Oakland. I have had a number of people tell me that Oakland is awesome and I have considered moving there before for financial reasons, but every time I have been there before this time, it seemed really commercial and dirty. I didn't really see what the appeal was. It turns out, I just hadn't been to the right part. We took a walk around Lake Merritt, which was beautiful. It was a gorgeous day, we walked on a really nice dirt path, there were lots of people out walking, biking, and jogging, there were lots of geese and every other person had a cute dog, a man was commandeering a gondola on the water, there was a neat children's play area, and there were some really lovely buildings to see all around on the outside. After walking, we grabbed some food from Trader Joe's, ate it outside by some palm trees, and then went to a beautiful old theatre to watch the movie *Bridesmaids*, which was really funny. And, this morning, I don't know if it's just the coffee mingling with my brain cells, but I love this coffee shop I'm sitting in. It's right around the corner from my apartment and I'm sitting in a far corner so I can see everything going on outside on the street and inside the cafe. There is so much activity: people on their way to work, students off to summer school, mechanics from the local garage, retirees, waste management guys taking a break, etc. Haha... and the song playing on the radio is "Boston" by Augustana. That's really funny! In case you don't know it, the lyrics to the chorus are:

She said I think I'll go to Boston
Think I'll start a new life
I think I'll start it over
Where no one knows my name
I'll get out of California
I'm tired of the weather
Think I'll get a lover
And fly him out to Spain
I think I'll go to Boston
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town
To leave this all behind
I think I need a sunrise
I'm tired of Sunset
I hear it's nice in the summer
Some snow would be nice
Oh yeah

We've had real summer weather for the last 3 days, so I can't say I'm tired of the weather at all right at the moment, but I do relate to the song in the sense that it has been very cold for most of the last month and I do miss the seasons, especially in the Fall. But, today is perfect and I have really been appreciating everything about where I am for the last couple of weeks. Sometimes it takes leaving to realize how wonderful things are just where you are. But, of course, the reason things are so wonderful is because I'm leaving, isn't it?

Route!

2011-06-16T08:16:00.001-07:00

I'm happy to say I've finally decided on a route for my trip across the country. I want to see as much of the west as I can while I'm out here, but it's definitely not possible to see everything on one trip. So, I'm going to do a short trip to see the Grand Canyon on my own and then for the cross country trip with my friend LP on board, we will be going via Portland, Seattle, Billings, and Minneapolis! I have always wanted to see Oregon and Washington and so has LP, and it's been ages since I've been to Minneapolis, so we thought, why not?! That means we will also be driving through Madison! It's going to be a short stop, but I'm hoping to at least have coffee with a certain SG! As each detail solidifies, I am feeling more and more relieved.

Random Stuff

2011-06-11T08:24:00.000-07:00

So, I'm trying to blog more regularly to help me through this next transition phase of my life, but I don't feel like I have much of anything interesting to say. Still, here's what's going on...

I've been helping my boss at my office job find a replacement for me. We've interviewed four candidates so far out of ~135 applicants. Holy crap.

One of my San Franciscan students moved to New Zealand and I have continued to give her voice lessons via Skype at her request because she will be auditioning for music school in mid-July. At this point we are doing two lessons a week. It has taken a lot of experimentation to improve the Skype connection and it's still not ideal. I'm feeling pretty stressed out about that. I hope I am able to help her get to the place she needs to be.

The professional choir I've been singing with regularly is singing for a national choir conference here this afternoon. I have a crazy solo in one of the pieces we're singing. I hope I sing it well.

I am doing a benefit concert for the same choir tomorrow afternoon for a bunch of our donors and will be singing three of Copland's Emily Dickinson songs.

Also, tomorrow, I've been advised to wear red to church for Pentecost. Honestly, I have never understood what Pentecost was all about.

Quote of the Day

2011-06-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

“It's not knowing what to do, it's doing what you know.”
- Anthony Robbins

SF in June

2011-06-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

It's a typical June morning in San Francisco, cloudy and 54 degrees. We're expecting a high of 63. I'm sitting here in my neighborhood's local coffee house in jeans and a cable knit sweater. I have to admit there is something sort of romantic about living in a place where it is eternally Fall. Of course, it is also never Fall... I mean, the leaves don't really turn color in my neighborhood and there are flowers outside all year round. I'm in another world than the one I grew up in and I'm going to enjoy it as long as I'm here. For some reason I'm feeling really optimistic this morning. I think I'll go with it. It's Friday!

Can't Take the Heat

2011-06-09T07:15:00.001-07:00

This morning in San Francisco, it is 51 degrees. The high temperature today is supposed to be 65. Tomorrow the high temperature is expected to be 61. Year round, the temperature is normally in the 50s and 60s. In the winter, it does sometimes dip into the 40s, and at isolated other times in the year, it does sometimes get up into the 70s. But, the norm is the weather we are currently experiencing. I have just read about the heat spell on the east coast resulting in temperatures of 90/100 degrees. It's not like I haven't been through that kind of heat before, but I didn't like it. I am miserable in severe heat. Right now I am really, really glad to be where I am.

Time

2011-06-08T08:29:00.001-07:00

I'm having one of those weeks that has been fairly typical in my life lately in which I am pretty much working all of the time and not doing anything to relax. Let me be more specific. I had one day off recently on which I didn't have any obligations (Memorial Day). I spent the entire day (14 hours of it) sorting through bags of papers that have accumulated in my life over the last several years. I'm really glad that I finally took the time to do that, because I really need to be sorting through and getting rid of things before I move, but obviously it wasn't very relaxing... The last whole day off I had before that was January 19th (MLK day). I've been working my full-time office job every week day, teaching students on Monday and Thursday evenings and Saturday afternoon (and extra make-up lessons when I have rehearsals that conflict with regularly scheduled lessons), in choir rehearsal on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, cantoring on Sundays, and singing concerts, like this past weekend's two concert set in Palo Alto on Saturday and Sunday evening. I enjoy the work I'm doing, but it's not really possible for me to be working this schedule, having multiple deep conversations a day about why I'm leaving town, keeping up with my laundry and other personal needs, and also doing major planning for the move and thinking about the future and not feel like I'm going totally bonkers. I don't have any immediate plans to go hiking or out for drinks with friends or see a movie or anything else relaxing or fun. I think I need to work on that. And yet, I really need to do my laundry... And, sort through my music books... And, ...

Identity

2011-06-04T10:25:00.000-07:00

I've been reading an interesting book called *Switch* on and off over the last year, part of which was required reading for my office job. It's written for business people, but the concepts in it can easily be applied to all aspects of life. I picked it up the other day after a long hiatus from reading and read a chapter about changing how workers see their identity (by changing their job title, for example) in order to change how productive and effective they are in their jobs. The thought is that if a person is an inventor and trying to make a decision, part of the subconscious decision process involves asking oneself, "What would inventor do in this situation?" One example in the book describes a steel manufacturing company that wanted to become more innovative and decided to change all of its employees' job titles to "inventor" (from some generic title, I guess) and the positive results that followed.

As an individual, to take this one step further, if you are trying to decide if the identity you are operating out of is the right one for you, you might ask yourself, "Do I aspire to be someone who...?" Here's a random example. You're at the store and you are trying to decide whether you should spend your money on fresh fruits and vegetables or ice cream and candy bars. If you identify as a person who is very health conscious, this is most likely a no-brainer. Because you identify as a health nut, you probably aspire to be someone who spends your money on fruits and vegetables and not candy bars. If you are someone who identifies as a person who lives in the moment for pleasure, you might choose the ice cream and candy bars. But, if you identify as someone who feels like having a healthy body is pleasurable and allows you to have more fun in the moment, you might choose the fresh fruits and vegetables. There are many ways to spin this.

I think this could be particularly helpful in trying to make difficult decisions. Let's say you were offered a gig performing in Spain for six months, but you know that you won't be able to afford to travel back to the US and visit family at all during that time period. Thinking about different ways to see your identity, you could theoretically put on different hats that represent different aspects of your personality (similar to the *Six Thinking Hats* decision making tool). For example, "What would a daughter do in this situation?", "What would a budding professional musician do in this situation?", "What would a person who longs to be well-traveled do in this situation?", etc.

Another interesting, but unrelated, exercise could be to make a list that describes a number of people you know:

- works 40 hours a week sitting at a desk
- can never drink coffee or alcohol or stay out late to protect her voice
- wakes up every morning to her loving husband and two beautiful children
- has to be at school at 7:00am every week day
- travels to Europe every year
- can see a mountain range from her bedroom window

Then, precede each entry with, "I aspire to be a person who..." and see if you agree or disagree.

**ADDENDUM: After looking at Susan's blog, I have a new idea for how I could use this identity idea. I have *always* thought of myself as someone who does not have a green thumb, and yet, I love plants! Perhaps I need to start thinking of myself as someone who has a green thumb! If I were to think to myself, "What would someone with a green thumb do in this situation?" I might have better luck with plants! :-) I am always in awe of Susan's garden!

News

2011-06-02T07:46:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I made the official decision to move back east. I had been thinking about it for quite a long while, but since it's not like any ordinary move, the logistics required some intense thought. Also, there is SO much I love about California, the landscape, the climate, my friends here, my work here, that I wasn't able to justify moving until life seemed to require it.

Things are gradually falling into place. I've given notice to my office, the church where I sing, the music school and students I teach, and my singing colleagues. My dearest friend from college has offered to fly out here and drive with me across the country. For that, I am so grateful. I have purchased her plane ticket and am currently working out the logistics for car travel the week of July 25th.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning with an intense feeling of dread, like "What have I done?" Other times, I feel excited at the thought of reconnecting with old friends on the east coast and being closer to my parents. The reality of the cost of this trip and of the volume of personal items that I will need to get rid of is a bit overwhelming. The main difference between this trip and the trip I took out here is that I had a car on the way out. That car has since bit the dust. So, I will be renting a car. Also, I didn't have any cats in the car on my way. Otherwise, I only took here what I could fit in one car load, so I expect that after selling off my furniture and shipping boxes of books via mail, I should be able to pare down my belongings quite a bit. That's what I'm hoping anyway.

I've always been a person who thought life should be lived for the experience. When I was younger, as long as I could afford to do something, I would have done it if that's what I wanted to do. As I get older, I realize that I don't have as much energy as I used to, and I am more set in my ways than ever. Sometimes it's good to think of how I might feel different if I were 20. There is still much more life to experience. There are many more places to go. And, when I come back to visit California, I won't be working all day, so I can spend my time visiting the people I love and going to the places that fill me with joy.

Bach

2011-05-28T21:17:00.000-07:00

Next weekend I am singing Bach's *Jesu, Meine Freude* with a solo quintet and choir in Palo Alto, CA. Whenever I sing Bach, I am reminded how much I love doing it. On Tuesday during the dress rehearsal, I couldn't help thinking to myself, "How can I sing more Bach?!" Then, yesterday, I got an email asking me to do another more extensive gig singing Bach in July! How about that for a dream come true? :-)

Gratitude

2011-05-26T22:28:00.000-07:00

I am so lucky. I feel like I need to be more thankful for all of the blessings in my life. I am going to start by posting some photos of the beautiful place where I teach on Thursday evenings.

Sad News

2011-03-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I got some upsetting news. The Syracuse Symphony Orchestra has ceased operations, cancelled the rest of the season, and laid off all its musicians. My father retired from the symphony several years ago, but my mother has been playing in the orchestra for 40 years. I don't even know what to say.

A Year Goes By

2011-03-25T18:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you're so busy, you barely notice that a year has gone by. I just remembered that a year ago this month, I cut off a foot of hair and sent it to locks of love.

Then.

Now.

Wisconsin

2011-02-21T09:42:00.000-08:00

I was a student (and Teaching Assistant at the UW-Madison) in WI for two semesters in 2005. Soon after arriving in Madison, I met my friend, Susan, who asked if I would like to co-steward the Music Department for the Teaching Assistants' Association, which is the oldest graduate student teacher's union in the US. In all honesty, at that time, I really had no idea what unions were about. I had never been a part of one. I knew my parents were in the Musician's Union, who negotiated their very meager salaries. I knew that my grandfather had been a union steward, but he was an accountant and I'm not sure what union he was in... I didn't know anything about Robert's Rules or collective bargaining. But, Susan's enthusiasm was infectious, I could tell we had similar ideas about politics, and the more she talked about what the TAA was all about, the more I wanted to be involved. I joined and I am so glad I did. The experience was truly rewarding. I feel very honored to have been part of the TAA. I swear to you, I have never met a more intelligent, compassionate, politically savvy, and civil group of skilled debaters interested in fairness and democracy in my life. I was truly inspired not only by the people I met there, but by the process that they took so seriously, with such reverent respect. It sounds cheesy to say it, but I would be lying if I didn't say that my fellow TAA stewards inspired me to want to be a better person. They inspired me to get off my butt and try to make a difference.

While a student at UW-Madison, I became very aware of the political situation on small and large scales and how that affected the money trading hands. I learned that public universities were becoming less and less public and more and more influenced by private interests. I learned that the state of Wisconsin has a great divide in ideologies between the more liberal cities downstate and the more Republican bent of the rest of the state. I saw how certain departments in the university (like economics) refused to be part of the union, whereas other departments (like sociology, english, and math) had a lot of representation. I saw how some TAs were way overworked grading papers and tutoring students for professors who only gave the class lectures, whereas other TAs were the primary teacher for a group of students who never saw a major professor in that area of study. (And, started thinking about how integral these TAs are to the wellbeing of the university.) I saw how some departments had so much money that their TAs could afford to sit around and play cards for several hours a day and had stipends to pay them to not work over the summer, whereas other departments had so little funding that they had to pass it around from one student to another, so that some students had to drop out of the program altogether because they couldn't afford tuition, or had to work several extra jobs even with their assistantship just to make ends meet. I think the politics of why some departments had more money than others and how that influenced their representation in the TAA had to do with where the money was coming from (national foundations? or corporate interests?) and also the politics of the major professors in each area (whose politics may have been influenced by money in a similar way). And, those are just a few thoughts from someone who has been away for a very long time about a very complex issue...

Here is a link to Susan's blog, where she has six great posts in a row about the situation, including lots of photos and good links.

Madison

2011-02-15T22:37:00.000-08:00

I heard that 15,000 people rallied at the Wisconsin Capitol in Madison yesterday and that thousands are staying overnight to make their voices heard in opposition to Governor Scott Walker's barbarian budget bill that would end the collective bargaining process for all state workers. Videos like this and these photos from Susan's blog are so inspiring. Solidarity forever indeed!

Living well

2011-02-12T22:29:00.000-08:00

Today I watched an interesting video about a study that was done of five communities around the world who have extraordinarily high life expectancies and what traits they have in common. I also found this article which sums it up.

One of the most intriguing findings in it shows that none of these people do any formal exercise, meaning they don't go to the gym or do other intense cardio workouts. They all do, however, walk a lot and are the type of people who take the stairs and ride their bike. In other words, they are not sedentary. They all eat mostly plant based diets, drink red wine in moderation, and eat small portions. Also important is that they have good social/family networks and take care to relieve stress on a regular basis.

Random Thought

2011-02-11T17:56:00.000-08:00

A lot of people choose to buy unbleached coffee filters for their coffee makers because it's better for their health, but when is the last time you saw an unbleached disposable coffee cup? Isn't drinking from a bleached cup just as hazardous to your health?

Exercise

2011-02-08T21:06:00.000-08:00

Well, I was going to wait until March to exercise, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I really need to just start doing it. I'm in luck, because the elevator in my apartment building is doing some weird things that have inspired me to take the stairs. Also, this morning I went for a run. I have been complaining since I moved here that my apartment is poorly located for running. I have always enjoyed running on dirt trails, especially along or around bodies of water. It's hard to get used to the idea of running where I live now because I live right in the middle of a giant concrete hill, so all four directions lead to a steep incline or decline. There is no way around it. I could ride my bike (down a really steep hill?! no way!) or drive or take public transportation somewhere else to run, but my schedule is very busy and that would take a lot more motivation. Finally, I realized that I need to just embrace the uniqueness of my neighborhood and design a way to exercise that is based on what it has to offer. I am starting very small. This morning I ran up two really steep hills and then jogged around a bunch at the top of the hill and jogged back down. I only exercised for about 15 minutes, but it felt good! I think tomorrow I might try doing a combination of running and walking on just one hill. Maybe I will run up, walk down, and then try to immediately run back up and if I can't do that, just walk it multiple times. Oh - and I also quit drinking coffee today... It was a green tea only day and I totally survived (with a little headache, but not too bad). I guess change is in the air for me!

**UPDATE (1/13/11)
I've been doing about 15 minutes of exercise and 15 minutes of stretching. I start with running up one of the steep hills, walk down it, and then repeat that four times. Then, I do some weight training. The stretching part is actually the hardest part. I am really stiff. I know it's not a lot of exercise, but I'm trying to do this 6 days a week and hoping it helps get me going in the right direction.

Getting To Know You

2011-02-07T22:57:00.000-08:00

1. When's the last time you took a leisurely, recreational walk around
the neighborhood where you live?
2. When did you last spend time looking at the stars?
3. When's the last time you sat somewhere and watched the sun set or rise?
4. When is the last time you went on a hike in the woods?
5. When's the last time you went canoeing or boating?
6. When is the last time you ate raw fruits and vegetables?

[Me: 1. Saturday; 2. Tonight; 3. I can't recall; 4. Last August; 5. I went kayaking a couple of years ago; 6. Today!]

A Vegan Mistake...

2011-02-07T22:00:00.000-08:00

Today I made my first major dietary mistake since taking on veganism. I didn't eat enough protein or maybe even just enough before teaching and I totally bonked. On Mondays, I work from 9-5 at my office and then jet over to teach five half-hour voice lessons in a row from 6-8:30pm. I had a protein shake for breakfast, raw fruits and vegetables for lunch, snacked on nuts, and ate some three grain bread in the afternoon, but by the time I started teaching my second student, I realized I really should have eaten much more and definitely should have eaten something high in protein before teaching. Unfortunately, I ran out of steam and it was really hard to concentrate. Well... now I know!

Sunny Sunday

2011-02-06T13:56:00.000-08:00

I bought a blender today. I have been meaning to do it for a long time and today I finally did. I decided that getting enough protein needs to be a priority and that a protein shake in the morning would be a perfect way to achieve that end.

My first concoction was a cup of almond milk, 2 bananas, 3 tbsp of vegan soy protein powder, two large handfuls of spinach, and about half a cup of orange juice. It tasted great even though it might sound a little strange. The only thing that I think would have made it better would have been if the bananas had been more ripe.

Do you ever make smoothies? What are your favorite recipes?

Vegan Update

2011-02-04T21:52:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it through my first week of veganism and feel pretty good, I must say. I have already invented a new favorite dish of whole wheat rotini pasta w/ sauteed onions, mushrooms, spinach, and sun-dried tomatoes (in olive oil) and lentils. It is very delicious and lasted me several days the first time I made it. I liked it so much that I made it again tonight. I've been eating Kashi 7-Grain cereals for breakfast. They have one that tastes a lot like Grape Nuts and another that is puffed. Both taste great with rice milk. And for lunch, I have continued eating raw. I actually just finished week five of eating only raw fruits and vegetables for lunch. I snack on nuts and sometimes Lara bars during the day. That's about it. Not too difficult, much more healthy than how I was eating last year, and I'm feeling fine. My awesome neighbor leant me a book called *Becoming Vegan* that was written by a nutritionist and has a lot of good information about how to make sure I'm getting all of the nutrients I need. After reading a couple of chapters, I've decided to step up the tofu and also start taking a B-12 supplement. I'm already supplementing my Vitamin D and taking 2 tbsps of blackstrap molasses a day for iron. I am feeling good about this slow and gradual approach I've been taking to get back my health. In January, I eliminated refined flour and sugar. In February, I became a vegan. Both of these efforts have dramatically increased my consumption of fruits, vegetables, and other healthy plant based foods. I am thinking that March will be a good time to get myself back into the routine of exercising regularly, but until then, I want to really concentrate on tweaking my diet the best that I can. I have lofty goals for my health this year that I want to stick to for the rest of my life, so I'm in no rush.

+ + +

2011-01-30T21:10:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I get so riled up about environmental, animal welfare, and other important social and political issues that I think I should go back to school and get another degree so that I could do something more substantial to help. Thinking about the problems we face and the size of them can be so overwhelming. But then, I read about projects like this and feel so inspired. There are people who have actually found ways to combine their artistic talent with their passion to help solve environmental (and other) problems. That is so cool! Putting on concerts in partnership with a nonprofit that is meaningful to you to raise money and raise awareness could be really rewarding. I wonder who else might be interested in doing something like that?

Vegan Trial

2011-01-29T20:08:00.000-08:00

I have decided to try veganism again on the advice of my doctor, of all people! I was eating a huge amount of cheese, milk, and yogurt every day, so this has been a challenging couple of days. I've started eating lots of fruits, vegetables, beans, nuts, seeds, and grains. But, I confess that I'm feeling hungry and I can see that if I'm going to do this successfully, I'm going to have to do a lot of grocery shopping, get organized, and cook a bunch of meals ahead of time. That is not how I usually operate, which is why I was eating so much dairy and refined flour and sugar. What can I say? Those foods are quick and easy! Over the last month, since I gave up refined flour and sugar, I have forced myself to start eating bushels upon bushels of fresh fruits and vegetables, and have started cooking whole grain pasta with veggies and beans in the evenings. So, I'm partly there. (I was already a vegetarian, of course.) But, I've never been a patient cook. Everything in my nature up until now says I will fail at this. Still, I have to be optimistic. My doctor has some compelling reasons for me to try it out and success in the long term is definitely worth a little pain and inconvenience now.

Getting To Know You

2011-01-25T07:15:00.000-08:00

1. What is your favorite day of the week right now?
2. What is good about Tuesdays?
3. Do you watch television? If so, what's the best night for TV these days? (If you don't watch TV currently, what was a good night for TV at some time in your life?)
4. What day do you usually do the laundry?
5. What day(s) are you looking forward to this week?

(me: 1. Sunday; 2. My rehearsal on Tuesday night does not require too much brainpower, so it's a relatively painless day over all; 3. I don't have a TV now, but when I was in college, I used to like watching Thursday night Must See TV; 4. Saturday or Sunday; 5. Saturday and Sunday!)

Things I'm Thinking About

2011-01-24T08:21:00.000-08:00

I just got some new music for voice and violin in the mail and discovered that I will probably be able to play/sing this new piece like I've been doing with the Vaughan Williams set *Along the Field*. The new set is *Four Songs for Voice and Violin* by Gustav Holst. Of course I can only play/sing two of the Vaughan Williams and will probably only be able to play/sing two of the Holst... It is interesting because the way I'm practicing is pretty much just to try to improve my violin playing by practicing solo violin literature, etudes, and scales, as I have no idea how to practice singing and violin together. Still, the coordination it takes to do the two things together is beyond me right now. I mean, I am doing okay, but there are things like trying to change bow and also end a phrase with good diction and take a good breath that are surprisingly hard to do simultaneously! Still, it's actually a really, really fun sort of challenge that I am mostly enjoying. I do get really frustrated and stamp my feet and curse sometimes, but overall, it's all good.

I also have two new books to read. One is *The Savvy Musician* by David Cutler, which so far looks like it's going to totally change the way I think about myself as a musician and how to make a living. (Yay!) The other is *The Grand Design* by Stephen Hawking, which already has completely expanded the way I think about everything. (Whoa!) I love it.

Oh... and I understand it's very, very cold in the northeast and midwest right now. Stay warm, y'all! Drink lots of hot cocoa! Get to the nearest fireplace!

Dieting

2011-01-23T19:11:00.000-08:00

So... since January 1, 2011, I have not been eating any refined sugar or flour. This was in an effort to try to adopt a healthier diet and also as a measure that I hoped would help me lose a few pounds. I thought I would try this first before going on a strict exercise regime, since my free time is severely limited and I have been trying to practice violin for an hour every day. Three weeks later, it seems that I have not lost any weight at all, but I am definitely eating a lot more fruits and vegetables and a lot less crap and I'm sure it's a good thing. But... if I am going to get even healthier, I'm going to need to start exercising again. I actually belong to a gym, but I haven't been there since I stopped doing weekly physical training sessions and didn't want to have to confront the pushy sales staff (whose offices are located right next to the women's locker room). My gym actually has multiple locations, so I could go to another slightly less convenient location or I could even exercise in my own living room. I walk at least two miles a day and often more, often up steep hills, but other than that I am not getting any exercise. Seems like I could go back to some of the routines I remember from my weight training sessions, since I have free weights at home. The thing I have to live with, though, is that I might just be doing this for the sake of my health and that's it. I might not have the energy and stamina it takes to actually lose any weight. And... maybe that's ok.

The Internet Is Fun

2011-01-14T20:29:00.000-08:00

Protactinium - A short-lived, naturally occuring, radioactive element, extremely rare and expensive. (Gr. protos: first)
Mithril - A durable silvery metal that is very light and easy to work, mined by Dwarves in Middle Earth. (mith, 'grey', and ril, 'glitter')
Elementium - A rare element that came from the Elemental Plane in World of Warcraft.
Lanthanum - A very reactive, soft, rare-earth metal. Used for high intensity lighting. (Greek lanthanein: to lie hidden)

Your turn? Click here. :-)

More Food For Thought

2011-01-13T18:05:00.001-08:00

‎"The Greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
- Walter Bagehot

Getting To Know You

2011-01-12T10:18:00.000-08:00

1. Is there snow on the ground where you live right now?

2. What is one thing you love about snow?

3. Have you ever eaten snow ice cream?

4. Have you ever made a snow fort? a snow man? What else have you made of snow?

5. Do you think you would miss snow if you lived in a place where it doesn't snow?

6. What else do you have to say about snow?

(me: 1. nope; 2. it's pretty to look at and brightens up everything; 3. yes - it was yummy; 4. yes, yes, snow angel; 5. yes; 6. shoveling it gives you big muscles...)

Food For Thought

2011-01-09T17:49:00.000-08:00

“What you do in life is insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.”
- Gandhi

Switch

2011-01-06T22:44:00.000-08:00

A few months ago I started reading a book called Switch. I have been surprised by how enjoyable it is to read and have been reading it slowly and savoring its refreshing ideas about how to reframe life. Although it speaks about making changes in the workplace, its ideas are applicable to all facets of life. One concept that I have been thinking about a lot is something they call making a destination postcard, meaning that you take the time to imagine very clearly and precisely where you'd like to end up after you have made the changes you'd like to make (which is one way of figuring out what changes you need to make to get there). It's one thing to think about how frustrated I am by some things I don't like about my life now, but it is surprisingly challenging to think clearly about what exactly I would like my life to look like so that things would be better. More soon...

Getting To Know You

2011-01-05T08:16:00.000-08:00

1. What is one thing you are procrastinating right now?
2. What is one thing you need help with right now?
3. What is one thing you could do to help someone else right now?
4. What is one thing you wish you had more time to do right now?
5. What is one thing you have to do, but don't really want to do today?

(Me: 1. Getting ready to go to my office; 2. Doing my taxes; 3. Probably lots of things. I could make someone a cup of tea, for example, or I could brush my kitty cat; 4. I wish I had more time to compose before going to work; 5. I have to get to the office earlier than normal today... (guess I'd better wrap this up!))

Yes Yes Yes!

2011-01-05T08:08:00.000-08:00

This is a follow up on my very, very unscientific research study where you (maybe) and I both put "YES" on our walls... Do you think your life satisfaction has gone up since you put "YES" on your wall? Strangely, I think mine has. Ha! I'm not sure if I care if it's related or not!

New Year's Resolutions

2011-01-01T16:33:00.000-08:00

Today I watched a video of myself singing and playing violin. I was mostly fine with it, but it was hard to ignore the fact that I have put on more than a few pounds this year. The problem is, I want to be thinner and I am happy with making an effort to eat better, but in all honesty my free time is so limited and there are so many things I want to do, I don't realistically see daily trips to the gym in my future.

I wonder how much weight I could lose just from eating better? I walk a mile and a half to and from work every day and sometimes take a walk at lunch, but other than that, I am not getting any exercise. I have started practicing violin regularly, which probably burns a few calories, but I'm not doing any hard core exercise at all. And, I have been eating a lot of sweets and pastries lately... I wonder what would happen if I were to just cut out refined sugar and flour? I guess we'll see... That's going to be my New Year's Resolution. Wish me luck!

Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T23:39:00.000-08:00

One of the strangest things about being back in California (I just got back from seeing my family in Syracuse for the holidays) is noticing how much colder it is here. That probably sounds strange. I spent five days in a place where the temperature varied from about 15 to about 39 degrees Fahrenheit and now I'm in a place where the temperature is currently 48 and that is probably the coldest it will get. I think a large part of it has to do with the fact that people in cold climates tend to keep their houses quite warm in the winter time (especially when they have guests), whereas my apartment in San Francisco only has a little electric heater and it's drafty, so it is always chilly inside when it's cold out. I guess the other factor is expectation. I was expecting it to be really cold in Syracuse, so I brought my warmest clothes and I wore them. When I returned, I expected it to be much warmer here. It certainly isn't as cold outside, but inside my apartment is considerably colder than inside my mother's house in Syracuse. Time to go snuggle with my kitty cat under the blankets!! Happy New Year!

Changes in plan

2010-12-26T23:02:00.000-08:00

I went to the airport tonight fully expecting to get on a plane to Detroit and then get on another plane to Syracuse at the crack of dawn. I couldn't think of a single reason why it shouldn't happen. The storm is much farther east, so why should any of my flights be cancelled? Not only is there not supposed to be any snow in either Detroit or Syracuse tonight, but even if there was, both cities are known for their ability to deal with snow. Syracuse has already had 72" and from all reports I've heard, everybody is going about business as usual. Unfortunately however, when I got to SFO at 8:30pm this evening, I found out the soonest I could expect to arrive in Syracuse is midnight on Tuesday. And, I might as well go home and get some sleep because they re-routed me through Chicago and the connecting flight doesn't leave until 9pm tomorrow and I could get on a plane tonight, but then I'd just end up waiting all day tomorrow at O'Hare. Actually, my original flight to Detroit is due to leave as scheduled, but the connecting flight from Detroit to Syracuse was cancelled for reasons unknown and I would have ended up stranded in Detroit. Since JFK is closed right now because of heavy snowfall, it can be speculated that either the flight was cancelled as a precaution or the back up of passengers waiting to leave NYC took precedence over my need to get home.

One of my co-workers has been talking a lot lately about how Mercury is in Retrograde, explaining this phenomenon as the reason why so many things are not working out as planned. I have to confess that Astrology is something that doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense to me. As much as people have given me examples about all the commonalities they see amongst friends who are one star sign or another, I just can't see that there truly are any logical correlations. And, I can't say whether being told you are probably going to turn out a certain way might influence how you actually turn out. That said, it does seem like a lot of kooky things have been going on lately. Still, isn't that often the case around the holidays?

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

Today, although I am feeling content knowing that I will see my family very soon, I am reminded that the holidays can be a very stressful time for a lot of people and thought it might be a good time to remember some of the tricks I have used throughout the years to change my perspective when times are hard and I need to find more peace and calm.

1. I imagine that I am slowly zooming out over my physical location and place myself, as if I am on a map, in the room I'm in, the building, the street, the neighborhood, the city, the state, the region, the country, the continent, etc. until I am just a speck in the universe.

2. I close my eyes and imagine myself hugging and exchanging good will with everyone I can think of who I am not feeling completely at peace with.

3. I think back in time to what I was doing yesterday at this time and then last week, last month, last year, five years ago, ten years ago, etc. It helps me remember that troubling things are transient and that the themes of what is important to me remain pretty much constant.

4. I imagine myself as a ninety year old woman talking about my life -- the things I am most proud of and the things I regret -- to help put into perspective specific things I am currently worried about.

5. While walking around town, I imagine that everyone I walk by is my brother, sister, or close friend. Or, something else that works in a similar way for me is to imagine that all the people I am walking by are exactly equal to me in every way and in no way better or worse.

6. Additionally, I have found Metta helpful and also simple breathing meditations.

What tricks do you have?

Getting to Know YOU

2010-12-21T21:59:00.000-08:00

1. What musical things have you done today?

2. Did you watch the lunar eclipse?

3. Have you had any egg nog yet this season?

4. What do you like best about the holidays?

5. What is your favorite board game? Or, if you don't like board games, what sort of games do you prefer to play?

[Me: 1. I practiced violin this Noon and I had choir rehearsal this evening; 2. Yes - I watched quite a bit of it from my window until the moon was covered by clouds, then I watched the whole thing on a time lapse video; 3. Yes - in several varieties; 4. Seeing my family; 5. Probably Scrabble.]

Experiment

2010-12-19T14:54:00.000-08:00

This morning I learned second hand about an intriguing study. I was told that two separate control groups were established and that one group was exposed to a big poster board with the word "Yes" all over it and the other group was exposed to a big poster board with the word "No" all over it. After seeing the poster board, each person was given an MRI to record brain activity. And, interestingly, there was considerably greater brain activity in the control group who had seen "Yes" than those who had seen "No". Also, a follow up phone call one week later revealed that the control group who had seen "Yes" felt considerably more satisfied with their lives than those who had seen "No".

It seems reasonable to me that a person who is told "No" over and over again could become discouraged and that continual rejection might lead someone to feel less satisfied with life, whereas hearing "Yes" and being accepted could have a more positive effect. And, perhaps just seeing the word "Yes" is enough to provide results. The brain is certainly complex and mysterious enough to me that I am willing to consider this possibility.

I wonder if you will join me in an experiment. Find a piece of paper and write the word "Yes" on it multiple times - in big letters and small letters - so that it covers the whole page. Hang up this piece of paper on the wall of your house/apartment somewhere where you can see it (by the piano, by your desk, in the kitchen or bathroom, etc.) and leave it there for a week or two at some time when you will be around (and not on vacation somewhere else). Don't try to judge the effects it has on you. Just let it be there. I'm going to ask you about it later. :-)

Violin

2010-12-18T12:59:00.000-08:00

I started playing violin around the age of four (and grew up the daughter of a professional violinist). I played throughout school with varying degrees of interest, the height of which was in high school while preparing Kreisler's Praeludium and Allegro for the state solo competition. When I chose to major in voice performance in college, it didn't occur to me that keeping up my violin chops would have been a smart thing to do. I did take a few professional gigs playing in a wedding string quartet group after college, but since I was playing with others who were much better at their instruments than I was, I assumed that I really should just stick to voice. I should say, though, in retrospect, that I didn't really practice much or give myself a chance. I just assumed violin was something I wasn't that good at. Years later, I have picked up my violin again, and have written a set of five songs for singing violinist (or violin playing singer) that I will be performing in front of people. What is unique about this situation is that I wrote the piece, so I purposefully wrote music that I can actually play. I do have to practice every day, though, because my muscles are still not really used to playing on a regular basis for any length of time. I know I have a lot of room for improvement in the quality of my playing, but I don't feel as discouraged as I have in the past when trying to play violin. The main reason for this is because I am noticing that I feel considerably happier after I have been playing the violin. It makes sense to me now that returning to something I did for the entirety of my childhood would make me feel more grounded and at peace. And, I am really glad to have finally come back to it.

Museum Trip

2010-12-17T19:10:00.000-08:00

Last evening I went with a friend to the modern art museum here in town. There were a good number of interesting works, but my favorite pieces of all were a collection of watercolor paintings done by African children from Southern Rhodesia. Two of them can be seen here, but honestly, it doesn't do them any justice, because the vibrancy of the colors was really the best thing about them. They were incredible and very inspiring. It was very hard to believe they were done by children, because they looked like they must have taken a lot of time to create, and when I think of children in our American culture, I don't think of them having a lot of time to devote to any one activity, especially not artistic ones. We live in such a busy world. It really made me think. Also, re: the vivid colors, I had to wonder how the watercolors were made. I have never seen watercolors in such beautiful colors.

I haven't been to an art museum in quite a while, but while I was a student at New England Conservatory, I was in the habit of going to the Museum of Fine Arts almost every Saturday. As a student, we could go free, which was so cool. I have to admit that the first time I went to an art museum here, I was a little disappointed, because I was used to seeing much bigger collections. But, what I realized when I went last night is that I love to look at art and there is a lot of art here in town that I haven't seen yet. Also, museums frequently change their exhibits, so it's always cool to go back even if you think you've seen everything. Which reminds me, there is a cool impressionist exhibit at another SF museum that is only here until January. I'd better get on that!

Getting Into The Spirit

2010-12-14T18:00:00.000-08:00

Today I bought a fiberoptic tree and some egg nog.

My kitty cat is not sure what to make of the tree.

Luckily it is much too small for her to climb.

Empty glass :-(

2010-12-11T21:16:00.000-08:00

Oh no, Nashira! My glass is empty!

"NOOOOOO!!!!!! Say it isn't so!!!!!!" says Nashira.

"Yeah. Here. Check it out." says Pam.

True Confessions

2010-12-11T20:11:00.000-08:00

My friend Heidi, a mezzo I sometimes have the pleasure of singing with, has made it clear that she thinks it's not a good idea to blog after drinking three glasses of wine. Well, I say POO! Having drunk half a bottle of wine myself, I would like to say that this is the perfect time to write a blog post. :-P What could she possibly reveal that wouldn't be deliciously fun to read?

Interesting...

2010-12-11T08:17:00.000-08:00

So, you probably remember a few years ago when I started posting Getting To Know You questionnaires on my blog. I was doing it weekly for a while and am always happy when people answer. Thanks, Susan and Scott! :-) I have to tell you, I am so amused because today on Facebook, I noticed that someone else has started doing this! [I noticed that two other friends were tagged in a Getting To Know You quiz, but I was not, so I don't know where it originated.] I'm sure it's not impossible that someone else was doing a Getting To Know You quiz before me, but I can't help but wonder if someone got the idea from me. Maybe I'll never know!

Getting To Know You

2010-12-10T08:20:00.001-08:00

1. Is it snowing where you are? And/or, is there snow on the ground?

2. What is the last thing you practiced doing?

3. When is the last time you taught someone something? What was it?

4. What sounds can you hear where you are right now?

[Me: 1. Nope. Nope; 2. I practiced some music for my upcoming recital last night; 3. I taught a voice/piano lesson to a high school girl last evening; 4. I can hear traffic and construction vehicles.]

Happy Friday!

2010-12-10T08:03:00.001-08:00

Today my office is having our holiday party, so we all get to eat a delicious meal, drink wine, exchange secret snowflake gifts, and then go home early! Woo hoo! Still, I think I should probably resist the urge to drink too much since the weekend is only two days long and I have a lot of music to learn for the (all contemporary music) recital I am giving in Syracuse on December 29th. I actually just got two of the pieces I will be singing yesterday, so I'll feel much better once I have learned them. And... I am planning to perform the pieces I just wrote, accompanying myself on the violin. My mother has offered to be my back up in case I wimp out, but I am going to practice and see how far I can get. Lots of work to do! But first... party! :-)

Letting Go

2010-12-09T15:22:00.000-08:00

My good friend Scott proposed the following advice about composing:

"Never be afraid to throw your precious music in the trash. If something just doesn't work, get rid of it. Don't get too attached too soon."

It just occurred to me that perhaps this is really good advice about other aspects of life as well. :-) Like Scrabble.

Inspiration

2010-12-05T20:52:00.000-08:00

My experience performing last night left me feeling so inspired that today I ended up writing a five song set of pieces for voice and violin that included the one song I had already written. I had actually written two others songs with texts by the same author, but had written them for voice with a simple piano accompaniment (that I never liked), so I decided to rewrite them for violin and then decided to add two other pieces with texts by the same author. They are all short and I may very well continue to revise them, but I am really excited. I never thought I would accomplish anything like this. I am surprised at myself!